Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
