i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
