stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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