Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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