kristin has been a bad kristin
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
