But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Randomize
