I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
