My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
