If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
