found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
