That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
