So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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