what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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