I want to make a zoo with you.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
