So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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