I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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