I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
