I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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