pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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