eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
