Dual....:-)
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
