I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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