At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Randomize