I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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