I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
