You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
All I want is dick and wine.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
