If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
She's the barista slut.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Two words: blizzard sex
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
