Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
