I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize