I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He felt like a one man threesome
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
