Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
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