I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
