we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
