I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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