haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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