It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
