Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
