her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
This house was built for laser tag.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
