Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
