I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize