doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Randomize
