my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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