I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
