If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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