Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
