I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
