hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
