When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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