is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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