I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
