you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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