good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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