I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Enjoy the penises
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
