we're blogging at a bar
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
