Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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