I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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