1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Can Purell be used as lube?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize