So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
