Buhtt sex?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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