I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
