Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
